Let me share what has been on mind of late...
It started last week when I visited our local parade of homes and it was made obvious how much money is wrapped up in some of the homes here around me. The next day there was a lot of media coverage on the anniversary of hurricane Katrina and how it continues to affect those that live in the areas that were hit. The contrast between these was so great that I couldn't get it out of my head. I wrote a post about it but didn't feel like I expressed all that I was feeling. I couldn't articulate all of my feelings.
As I have continued to reflect on this, I have experienced other situations or examples of people in need. To name a couple, I watched the movie The Ultimate Gift (highly recommend it) over the weekend and then the Oprah show yesterday where Bill Clinton was the guest (I will be purchasing his latest book). In trying to keep this short, I won't go into all the details. I'll just say that they both have me continuing to wrestle with all of my thoughts.
What do I mean by wrestling? I think that's what one does when they think God is trying to tell them something. That's where I'm at. I'm trying to figure out what God is telling me.
Maybe He's just trying to give me a bigger awareness of how many people in this world are truly in need. Maybe He's telling me I need to share more of my blessings. Or... maybe He's trying to tell me something more. That's really what I am wrestling with.
Some time within the next year, Don and I will be entering a new phase of our life. Not only will our youngest be leaving to attend college somewhere, but Don could be changing jobs and that may also mean a possible move, and we may be retiring from youth ministry. You see, I've been reflecting on all of this, too.
So is it just coincidence that these two trains of thought have collided in my head? I'm thinking not. Is God preparing me for something that I would have never thought of before? Possibly. What would that be? What would that look like? All I know, at this point, is that I can't dismiss some of the thoughts that have been rambling around in my head, and that my heart is very much engaged with these thoughts. And that I want to be open to God's leading. It's very scary but it's also a little exciting.
It's these kinds of thoughts that have been playing havoc inside my head lately. I had planned to eventually write a post about my thoughts, but was motivated to write it today from the prompt "on my mind" from TopBlogMag. If you haven't checked them out, do so now.
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link of the day:
http://www.kiva.org/
12 comments:
I will pray for you, friend! When God is doing something in my life, that's when I find myself wrestling...trying to find His will and purpose because I know that He won't let me stay stagnant.
I'm always scared to go down the road of change, are you? Not just life changes (though those are often scary to me, too), but heart changes. It always seems exhausting to me...trying to figure it all out. But, oh the blessings of allowing Him to work in my heart...they are magnificent!!
I love hearing as you wrestle through your thoughts. The journey is where we learn so many of life's lessons. If you only shared the conclusion, then we would not take part in the wonder of not knowing. It is great to see you wrestling with your thoughts and making the choice to trust God and continue to explore this road. I'll be praying for you as you continue to see where He is leading.
I, for one, do not believe in coincidence. I do believe God is active in every part of our lives and nothing happens by chance but as He wills. That is such a blessing to me.
Susan
I think God loves for us to wrestle with Him. For one thing, it shows what an open and sensitive heart you have.
I think so often of what the next couple of years will bring you and Don. You both have so many gifts for ministry, and not just youth work.
It will be exciting what doors God opens up.
I, too, plan to buy Clinton's new book and Alan Alda's.
Keep on wrestling and listening.....
whatever God has for you, the calling won't fade, but will become increasingly clear as you search.
Thank you for being so open with what you are experiencing. I am confident that you will know what God has in store for you the time is right. Isn't it amazing how God prepares us for the changing seasons in life!
And don't let go till God's blessing for you comes out ;o]
I began a comment yesterday and then deleted it before I posted. I must say that it has hit me very deeply.
Since Bill's accident we have felt the Lord slowly making our lives better with less. I don't know how to explain this, but we are really making changes that are gearing towards Him only.
Our travels are missionary journeys of handing out bibles, preaching, and seeking. Bill is stronger than me on this, as at times I do feel selfish...but the Lord is great and I have the world at my fingertips and Heaven as my destination.
Forgive me for rambling...
penofjen(at)yahoo(dot)com
Isn't it amazing how the Lord guides us? It's fascinating to me to look back at my life and see the paths that I have been led down. Because they are certainly paths that I wouldn't have chosen on my own. And they have all brought me to something good!
I think it's always healthy to re-evaluate where we are at in life. Especially to see if we are listening and open to God's leading. During times of change and transition this is especially beneficial so we can move into the next stage prepared and equiped. Our girls are all gone now and we have transitioned into the "empty nest" and now look forward to our first grandchild!! He has been faithful at each turn in the road. Blessings as you listen to Him.
I don't want to bring my "stuff" onto your blog. However, in reference to the very kind comment that you left me I want to say thanks.
You uplifted me and have given me spirit.
Thank you for your kind words.
I always think it is exciting when we start thinking and reflecting - to see what God has in store for us. That is how our homeschool journey started - because my initial reaction was: No, not me!
I will keep you in my prayers that God will open your heart and eyes to see what He wants to show you!
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