Wednesday, February 4, 2009

eight is more than enough

Something has been bothering me for a little over a week now and as I've done in the past, if something is on my mind, I bring it here. I mostly do this to get it off my chest, but it also helps me to get different perspectives and insight by the comments that are left. So let me know what you think.

I know this will sound judgemental. Even though I try very hard not to judge others, I'm having a hard time not judging in this situation. I'm talking about the mother who had octuplets last week.

My first thoughts must have been what most people hearing the news would have thought; eight babies.... what a handful, or glad it's not me or that's incredible. I kept waiting for the pictures; of the babies, of the happy mother and father. I wanted to hear how this extraordinary event was going to change the lives of those involved - in challenging and wonderful ways.

As one day turned into the next and information about the mother started emerging, I became even more intrigued, and disturbed. It ends up that the mother is a single unemployed mom who already has six kids, all under the age of eight. She lives with her mom in a small (probably a two bedroom) house. Not ideal circumstances.

I can't help but wonder how she's going to manage giving the necessary care to fourteen children, eight of them infants. I want to know what kind of fertility clinic would help to impregnate a woman with her particular set of circumstances. I can only speculate why this woman would want another child and take the chance of having more than one.

I can't be the only one that thinks she acted irresponsibly and that those eight precious babies may be in trouble. I've heard she wants a TV deal, something like Jon & Kate plus 8. I guess if that happened, it would change her financial situation, but little else. I truly hope that it all works out some how. I really don't want to judge this woman. I just want what's best for those babies, as well as her other children.


MightyMom said...

well, you may not want to judge...but I will!

1) she NEVER should have been considered a candidate for IVF

2) MOST IVF docs will require you to selectively abort all viable babies >3 (some >2) if you do end up with several successes at once...hence one of the many reasons I do not condone IVF

3) my first reaction to hearing about the 8 (after the 2 thoughts above went through my head) was "someone's looking for perks and money!"--this was loooong before the details of her life became public.

4) I do surely hope the CPS whereever it is that she lives has her under investigation.

maybe I'm a cynic these days. but I find it interesting that my cynical predictions are one by one being proven as fact.

Momma Roar said...

I haven't heard about this...but then, I live under a rock (and I like it that way)!! Seriously, tv hasn't been on much with all our wonderful, glorious snow to play in. I will read up on it though.

I find it rather shocking - all the circumstances.

MightyMom said...

I responded to your comment in the Wednesday Hero post....


Short Stop said...

I find it unbelievable. I just don't understand - and maybe that's really the problem. If someone could tell us what the real deal is, then maybe we could sort it out.

But, I know friends who have been through IVF, and from what I understand from their knowledge, this woman should NEVER have been considered a candidate.

Amber said...

I agree. In reading about the whole situation, it does sound like she had an obsession with having children. Her mother said she even almost put her in therapy because of it in high school!

Jamey said...

I too try my hardest not to judge. This situation is a tough one. Eight babies is too many and that many embryos should have never been implanted. I think the mom definately has some issues and probably needs some kind of mental treatment. And I am not being sarcastic...I feel bad for her and I think she needs to be evaluated and treated mentally. But more importantly I think the doctor needs to be held responsible because that woman should have never been put in this situation in the first place. I think most of the responsibility leads back to him/her. And I am definately concerned for those eight new babies AND the 6 other children that she already has at home. They will definately be in my prayers as well as the mom, her parents, and the doctor responsible for this.

Melissa said...

I shouldn't judge either... but I am! This story just makes me more and more angry every time I read something new about it.
One thing that REALLY struck a nerve with ME personally... her 3 year old has autism. 6 kids and one with a disability and she decided to have 8 more?
Also, did you know she's a student and her parents had to declare bankruptcy to help support the FIRST SIX?
She wants to tell her story to the media... for $2M.
The whole thing is just crazy!

Christine said...

I have been thinking along the same lines as you. I also wonder why the clinic would impregnate her with that many embryos? They put her life in danger! The news stories say that in Canada, they can not implant more than three.

I am praying for a solution for these children. I do not think a television program or money for exclusive interviews are the answer for these kids. I am not sure what is? Maybe adoption into loving homes?

barb said...

Like the quote!

You are not the only one who is reacting to this woman. The women's group at our church tossed it around this week too, with no positive comments!

Just Mom said...

Diana, I am a whole mixed bag of emotions on this one.

I can't fault the woman for wanting another child. My mom is the seventh of seven children. I know other families with more than six children. What really angers me, if all the stories that have been published are true, is her doctors.

They really should have stood their ground and told her not to have eight embryos implanted. I had heard somewhere that the suggested limit is usually three embryos, so it's quite possible five were implanted and three split. Whatever the story is, I think the doctors have to take some blame for this one.

But what's done, is done. We should now hold her and her children up in prayer.

kel said...

I just don't understand how this whole thing happened.. it's just craziness!