Friday, May 30, 2008

bullied?


After the what's happened this last week with the little boy being "voted out" of his kindergarten class and finishing up the book 19 Minutes, about a school shooting carried out by a teenager who was bullied, I wanted to ask a question along these lines.

My question is...
Were you ever bullied during your school years? If so, share a little bit what it was for you, how you dealt with it, and how it affected you.

Don't worry how long your comment ends up being. And if you prefer to write a post about it, let me know so I can come read it.

Being a youth worker, I saw it a lot. I dealt with it as a mother of a daughter who lived through it. I even was a victim myself during my middle school years.

My family moved, just prior to my seventh grade, into a house that had been previously occupied by a popular girl who had a lot of friends - all in the "popular" group. Somehow they thought it was mine and my family's fault that this girl had to move away [stupid, I know].

Some kids vandalized our yard by burning a profane word into the grass and they made my life tough at school for the entire 7th grade. Luckily, it didn't get physical, but emotional bullying is worse. When the popular kids make it known that they don't like you, it's hard to convince other kids that you're an okay person who is worth having as a friend.

Luckily, I was used to being the odd man out. Being in a military family meant that I moved just about every year. I had previous experience with being the new kid and not having a bunch of friends. This was part of my reality of growing up and I actually think it made me stronger and a more flexible person. Would I change this part of my past if I could - yes. But I can't. And I think we have to embrace all of our past because it's made us who we are today.

Anyways, that's my story. What's yours?

Kailani, of An Island Life, hosts Aloha Friday each and every Friday. My question today is a little heavier than it's supposed to be, but I'm interested in this subject and took the liberty of using this forum for asking it. Be sure to visit the other participants and answer their interesting questions.

13 comments:

Penless Thoughts said...

I was blessed in this area and was not bullied but one of the "in" kids but at a very young age I was touched and hurt to see others mistreated.

My forever friend, for 64 years now, became that forever friend because when we were in the second grade she was being called "4 eyes" for wearing glasses and having crossed-eyes. She was standing my herself crying and I went to her and befriended her.

In high-school, a new girl came in and some of the kids were treating her badly but I made friends with her.

I thank God He gave me compassion at an early age. Also, that my parents taught me to be kind and to put myself in the others position.

So much of the bulling behavior comes from what kids are witnessing and being taught at home.
Susan

Amber said...

I wasn't bullied. If anything, I was a bit of one. Well, more bossy than anything. I don't remember traumatizing anyone but certainly had my little posse I thought I owned. Sad, sad.

Cathi said...

I never experienced it as a child however, sadly I think I have as an adult. One year I worked as an aid to a first grade teacher who delighted in using my three hours to rip out pages in child workbooks and would yell at me in front of parents. How I dealt with it was a smile and a chuckle with the knowledge that I had much more seniority in the district than she did. After all my children starting kindergarten and graduating high school in the district, serving on numerous PTA's and the like, I was well known and respected and she wasn't. (ohhh, am I being a bully?)

Good question. Happy Aloha Friday!!

Jenn said...

I wasn't bullied too much but I had my days. I went to a very small school (only 40 kids in my grade) so we all hung out together for the most part. But, like any kid, I got my feelings hurt and hurt others too... I hate the teenage years!

Jendi said...

Never was physically bullied, but I think emotionally around 8th and 9th grade.

I was probably pretty sensitive. I remember crying a lot, and kind of just withdrawing.

I came through it ok, but you couldn't pay me enough money to go back and relive high school!

Dee said...

sorry but I blocked most of my school years out of my mind and with good reason! :)

Just Mom said...

when i was in the 1st grade, a 2nd grade girl used to tease me because of my name. i got over that, though. the toughest thing i endured in high school wasn't bullying; it was my so-called best friend all of a sudden becoming very jealous of me and leaving me out when there was a get-together. i've forgiven her, but i haven't forgotten.

MightyMom said...

Well, I do have a story. Quite a story in fact. The news story that started this train of thought, coupled with my place in life right this minute are making me too raw to reflect at this time. But I wouldn't mind if you asked me again in a couple of weeks to share.

Maisie said...

I was made fun of in grade school, because I had nervous ticks. Then in high school, my locker was broken into and my stuff was vandalized. However, I think that I got off pretty easy. It's a lot worse for many kids, especially now a days.

Sher :) said...

I've actually always been a loner, so nobody ever bothered me. I can't imagine what it would be like. I wish kids weren't so mean sometimes.

Deb said...

I am feeling bullied into writing and I do not want to !!! So there!! LOL
Deb

kailani said...

Oh my, where do I start. I was basically one girl who was supposed to be my BFF. She went behind my back and told the school's bully that I was talking smack about her. The bully wanted to kick my butt! They both terrorized me throughout high school. We used to both work at the airport and she would tease me in front of her friends. I guess some people just don't grow up.

Huckdoll said...

Geesh! What a horrible reason to dislke and bully you (and your family) for!! That's just awful.

I changed highschools in 10th grade and a few of the girls at the new school found any and every reason to not like me. One girl heard that her boyfriend fooled around with a girl named Jen while she was on vacation and IMMEDIATELY blamed me, even though it so was not me.

These two girls in particular just wanted to hate me so bad, but they couldn't find a reason and we eventually ended up being friends down the road...but still!! High school girls can be tough.