Thursday, March 6, 2008

another weigh in

As I was perusing blogs today, I came across Is It Just Me?, a well written blog by JustRandi. A week ago or so, she posted a question that generated much conversation and has kept me reflecting on it the rest of the day. So I thought I'd pose the question here as I'm curious as to what you think about the issue.

So here's the question JustRandi posed: Is it appropriate for a 13 year old to have a boyfriend or girlfriend? And I'll add; at what age is it appropriate for your child to have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

I'd encourage you to read the comments left for JustRandi's post and then JustRandi's followup post explaining her feelings. It's interesting and thought provoking reading. As with the other weigh-ins, I ask that you be considerate and respectful in your comments.

link of the day:


Anonymous said...

Wow, what a subject. I can say that I watched my girls have crushes on boys at that age and thought it was all innocent. In later years I found out that they were all more interested in one another than we were lead to believe.

We missed the boat on setting good guidelines for our teens (12-14yrs). I am thankful that they got wiser with age and so did we. I know they regret the time spent with these boys at such an immature age. Although they were in group settings there were situations that they were so not prepared to deal with. It is not an innocent world out there.

I am thankful for God's protection over my daughters and feel boyfriends are difficult enough when they are in their 20's.

Jamey said...

My first thought is NO WAY. But my oldest is 9 and my daughter is only 5. So I guess I will live and learn. My husband and I both tend to be more conservative when it comes to things like this. Right now I think that is way too young! I am thinking more like 16 for an actual date. I don't want to be too strict that they want to go behind our backs either. I just don't know and now I am starting to panic. Good thing I have a few years!! I am going to need some serious help when that time comes!!

MammyT said...

I will come back later to weigh in. Diana, I raised 4 girls, so I should have something to say. I just wanted to thank you for telling about your 365 project. I can imagine it will be difficult, both to do it every day, and to choose just one for each day. I'm looking forward to seeing yours.

Heather said...

Since our little one is only 9 months old, I don't have any personal experience other than my own. And 10+ years of working with church youth groups...

Our daughter will not be allowed to date one on one until college. I'm serious. Thru high school, she'll be permitted to go out with groups only. NEVER.EVER. alone with ANYONE. We plan to be very open and honest with her about why. My hubby was one of those hormonal teenagers and he knows what boys that age are like. She may not understand that we are protecting her, but that's our job until she is 18.

That said, I'll share a little of my experience. I was always boy crazy. My parents said no "car dating" until I was 16. But when I was 14, a classmate of my older sister's asked me out. And my parents relaxed their rule. I wish they hadn't.

Working with youth groups, I always talked with the kids about dating vs. courtship. Courtship meaning that it's the serious relationship that leads to engagement and marriage. No dating around before hand. It's tough for kids, I realize. But courtship protects your heart and your hormones.

Janice said...

It is not appropriate for a 13 year old. I would probably allow my children date when they turn 16, but I haven't thought a lot about it. I have some time but realize I should start thinking about it. Thanks for the question.

Barb said...

Interesting question, responses to JustRandi, and her response. My question is what is your opinion, Diana?

Melissa said...

I was a participant in that discussion... it is an interesting thought... and you can read about what I thought over there! lol :)