Friday, April 16, 2010

God is good

Last week, the day after I was given my test results, I remember being in a good mood and thinking, "God is good." But as quickly as that thought came to me, another thought came right on it's heels... would I be saying and feeling this if my results hadn't come back as favorable as they did?

I know on a head level that God is good no matter what I'm going through, but it bothered me that I didn't know for sure that I could make that same statement with the same conviction had things turned out differently.

Well, God's giving me a chance to do just that.

I had an appointment with my oncologist Wednesday and received some surprising and hard news. It turns out that when the surgeon gave me the results to my tests, she used a small - but very important - word that I didn't pay enough attention to, and she didn't go into any detail about. That word was, "invasive."

My non-invasive cancer ended up being invasive with a protein (HER2) that is aggressive in promoting the growth of cancer cells in the body. This changes the original plan of only having to undergo radiation therapy as the final step to now having to undergo a few different tests (PET-scan, MRI, etc.) to make sure the cancer hasn't spread to another part of my body and then chemotherapy to kill off any cancer micro-cells that might be floating around, and then radiation therapy.

I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, but it vanished before my eyes. My journey dealing with cancer is not over yet and this leg is even more scarier than the first. It feels like what I've already gone through was a small bump in the road. This is a bigger bump and one that I don't want to deal with. BUT... I really don't have a choice, do I?

I do know one thing though... and I can say it with confidence and conviction... GOD IS GOOD!


Just Breathe said...

((HUGS)) Keeping you in my prayers.

MightyMom said...

God is good, Every Day.

oh friend. I want to come and hold your hand! :-{

From the moment you were diagnosed on you're a cancer survivor. There's another of those tiny but important words.

Now, You know I'm not one to sugar coat things. You got a bumpy ride ahead of you for the next little while. But here's the kicker. There are blessings to be enjoyed and lessons to be learned in every situation. And you will be Loved all along the way.
And to know that is to know, God is Good.

Momma Roar said...

MightyMom said it perfectly - "there are blessings to be enjoyed and lessons to be learned in every situation."

I've been reading Purpose Driven Life and in ch31 it talks "the very experiences that you have resented or regretted ... are the ones God wants to use to help others." Praying you can be a light for God to others you meet traveling this along this same path - who don't know Him and don't understand that yes, God is good!

Mommy, I'm Home said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Karen said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, Diane. It appears that the tunnel just got longer for you. It will make the journey harder and longer, that's for sure. I will continue to hold you in my prayers and that God's goodness will continue to sustain you!

Just Mom said...

You're always in my prayers.

Let me know if you want to get in touch with my friend.

J-ME said...

Diana, I haven't checked blogs in ages but have just come on to read yours and the bumps in the road you've been experiencing. I am so sorry, but know that God will use these to His glory. You will be in my prayers and I look forward to reading more of how God is working in your life.

Melissa said...

I am so impressed! It is so hard for me to always say that God is good. Sometimes it feels like God is good to everyone else except me. I know deep in my heart that this isn't true, but it's hard not to let those thoughts creep in.
I know that you will stand strong. And God will stand with you!!
You are in my prayers.... {{hugs}}

Jamey said...

I'll be thinking of you and praying for you as you go through your tests. I hope you get the best results possible.

Mary@notbefore7 said...

You are an amazing woman! Clearly your faith is built on the SOLID rock!!!

chele says said...

God will bless you on this journey, I promise. And 1 year from now you will be a different person, and for the better, with a fresh outlook on life and a renewed spirit. In my prayers my pink sister!