Last week, the day after I was given my test results, I remember being in a good mood and thinking, "God is good." But as quickly as that thought came to me, another thought came right on it's heels... would I be saying and feeling this if my results hadn't come back as favorable as they did?
I know on a head level that God is good no matter what I'm going through, but it bothered me that I didn't know for sure that I could make that same statement with the same conviction had things turned out differently.
Well, God's giving me a chance to do just that.
I had an appointment with my oncologist Wednesday and received some surprising and hard news. It turns out that when the surgeon gave me the results to my tests, she used a small - but very important - word that I didn't pay enough attention to, and she didn't go into any detail about. That word was, "invasive."
My non-invasive cancer ended up being invasive with a protein (HER2) that is aggressive in promoting the growth of cancer cells in the body. This changes the original plan of only having to undergo radiation therapy as the final step to now having to undergo a few different tests (PET-scan, MRI, etc.) to make sure the cancer hasn't spread to another part of my body and then chemotherapy to kill off any cancer micro-cells that might be floating around, and then radiation therapy.
I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, but it vanished before my eyes. My journey dealing with cancer is not over yet and this leg is even more scarier than the first. It feels like what I've already gone through was a small bump in the road. This is a bigger bump and one that I don't want to deal with. BUT... I really don't have a choice, do I?
I do know one thing though... and I can say it with confidence and conviction... GOD IS GOOD!